Waltzing Matilda

Day 28 / 31 Days of May (Speeeeeeeeech!), originally uploaded by Tilly Cooper.

The lovely lady had an album launch at Madame JoJo's tonight - very great set...I'm such a FAN lol www.myspace.com/speechdebellemusic

125th Street, originally uploaded by Tilly Cooper.

The Road of Destiny

I love my cousin. That's a random declaration, maybe, but she is VERY, VERY inspirational to me. You see, she has this knack of writing incredibility introspective blogs, a skill I believe honed by a journaling habit and a refreshing realness that must be tucked all up in our DNA.

I think the reason why I appreciate her so much is that she helps me to remember that we are all kind of one and the same...a family of humanity united by the similarity of our experiences..., and while she's taking one day at a time, reflecting on the good and sometimes the not so great, I often forget the I'm riding along this road too (even though I'd much prefer to go Concorde, to easily avoid the potholes life seems to swing atcha with no regard - or respect for that matter lol)

There's a few introspective bloggers I enjoy following, all digging beyond the surface of situations, instances and circumstances. I don't do that enough...preferring to keep things kinda vague, humorous, guarded maybe, in the hopes I won't be exposed as the occasionally weak, lost, fearful, tired individual that I can be.

But I say all this as a prelude to this Thursday's morning introspective about the road of destiny.

At 27-years-old I've realised that all along, I didn't really have a CLUE! And perhaps, when I'm 60, I'm still gonna be a lil clueless...more experienced, a lil wiser, and occasionally dumbfounded...And that's actually ok (this is a philosophy I've learned from a very good friend - JS...love you MUCHLY!). Right now, I'm not that cool, I'm not that special and there's a whole lot of things I do not understand. I've somehow become a person who aspires for the things the media has told me too (even though my inner-rebel will always pipe up: "But why?") I believe in a saviour named Jesus, but I often struggle to connect spiritually...I'm a 6 out of 10 Christian, but I feel there's got to be more that I need to do to let people understand this man without marketing Christ like Gilette - ("The best a man Can GET!") And at the same time, hoping that through my words, my actions, people will just....get it.

And then there's my emotions. Oh those darn emotions!!!! I've always struggled to embrace them properly...both past and present. I can't really make excuses for it, and really I won't...but there's been a need to keep up appearances...smiley....a constant laughability and charm...but ignoring the flipside because I've forced myself to become an adverse to pain and just forget.

But sometimes, I cry, I sob, I lash out...I question...then cry some more. I miss Him sometimes...I wish I saw my family more often...I can envy false realities....and quite simply, I can occasionally despise who I am, and who I've become.

And then I'm reminded that these various emotions are all part of the road of destiny...they can help us get to the next junction, lane, destination...a friend told me "my tears are power", and I get that. Or, at least they're fuel. While I feel the exposure of my weaknesses make me more susceptible to damage, I also realise by doing a Vulcan, I'm limiting how far along my journey I can really go...and what I can see and experience. Like tunnel vision. I become afraid of risk, challenge, or more importantly, change.

Disappointments are not a bad thing...and while I shouldn't aspire for them (who wants to be disappointed today? Not ME!), when they come, it doesn't mean the end of me.

I'm sorry if this is a lil self-indulgent this morning...but I believe that in the way I've been inspired by so many people who share, this can possibly help some one, any one out there too :) And I do suspect there will be a Part 2...Sorry peeps - just trying to exhale...

Day 26/ 31 Days of May (The Dustyfoot Philosopher), originally uploaded by Tilly Cooper.

Great chat with K'Naan today. But my, my, my how he's grown up! Three years ago, he was hip-hop's African sob story - now he's riding with Interscope and counting his spins on MTV. And truth be told, his new sound is TOUGH. Loving T.I.A - a bit OTT on the swearing tip, but the sentiment is DOPE. He joked that all Americans who were quick to hide their African identity are gonna represent now that T.I.A's paved the way. Aint that the Truth!!! (Fiddy, Diddy, I see ALL y'all!!!)

Day 23/ 31 Days of May (Police brutality), originally uploaded by Tilly Cooper.

(A protester faces off with a police officer at the United Campaign Against Police Violence demonstration in London, May 31, 2009. The march began at Trafalgar Square and headed to Scotland Yard via Downing Street. Pic: Tilly Cooper)

The first time I ever heard about police brutality was the beating of Rodney King during the LA riots in 1991. I was 9-years-old. Prior to that, I believed police officers were the epitome of Jesus (I'm a southern evangelical, so sue me!!) - loving, caring, considerate, servants of the people. Then one day, I saw a police officer smoking, which, believe it or not, shattered my clean-cut image of them, further destroyed by the King case. So I was pretty glad to attend today's demo - not because I have anything against the police, but because I still maintain that while no one's capable of 100 percent righteousness, the police should do what they claim to do - protect and serve -...not beat or kill, as in the recent case of Ian Tomlinson at the G20 protests. Then there are the countless others, Sean Riggs, Roger Sylvester...men who died while in police custody, of which the IPCC have failed in providing the necessary evidence to determine why this happened. But without getting too much into the politics of police vs citizens, today was an insightful today. I saw tears, anger, frustration. I also saw the sort of unity that clearly let "them" know justice will have to be served.

Day 22 / 31 Days of May (Justice!), originally uploaded by Tilly Cooper.

Okay...this is a bit of a cheat pic as this is actually what I'm getting up to tomorrow - BUT! The flyer was handed to me this evening, so there ya go. Come one, come all - let's tell the Government tomorrow we're not HAVING IT!!!!!

Day 21/ 31 Days of May (knife crime), originally uploaded by Millytilly.

As I finished up teaching for the day, I ran to the bus stop as the 158 ambled down the road, but suddenly it was told to divert by a police officer (who I actually wanted to slap because to miss the 158 is like, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!) and lo and behold, I missed it. But turns out someone was stabbed at the local supermarket, and what made this even more unnerving was that it was 4:30pm and a school is across the road. This sort of thing makes me angry on quite a few levels: firstly, who was this child who had the audacity to think he had the right to attempt to take someone elses life? and secondly, who raised (or who didn't raise) this child to know it's not alright to hurt another human being? I've given up blaming the system because really, these morals should start from the womb.

Bit of a sad day, really.

Day 19/ 31 Days of May (playing Peter Pan), originally uploaded by Millytilly.

I'm one of those people that go from moment to moment to moment, ending up quite a distance from where I intended to go. It could be the unbridled creative within, I'm not so sure - but anyway, that was just a bit of context. I went out this evening for a late night snack of Wagamama's Chicken Kare Lomen (It's extremely yum). I took my camera out with the intention of documenting my local Wagamama's for pic of o' day (I just wasn't too inspired today), but then starting having fun creating light trails and messing around with shutter speed as the nearby traffic whizzed past. That got boring real quick, so I headed home...and wouldntcha know, I spotted my shadow. Good times. (In homage to a lovely shot by Keymist)

Day 18/ 31 Days of May (Freedom), originally uploaded by Millytilly.

Two birds with one stone - my pic of the day, and my experimentation with Shutter Speed. And, something of a lovely silouette too :) My lens was a little dusty, hence the colour spots, but it all adds to it (one hopes LOL)

As for the context, nearly an hour of jogging with the sun blazing over some hilly terrain will have you jumping for joy when it's all over :)

Day 17/ 31 Days of May (chicken&chips generation), originally uploaded by Millytilly.

I've reached a point in my life that @ 27-years-young I feel too old to be eating chicken and chips. It's greasy, stodgy, cheap? Recession-proof, yes, but hardly fine dining for such a refined palate as mine (with the exception of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting...those calories tasted like gold, really :)Yesterday was the exception as I planned to stay for the evening service at my church and I needed to eat something quick-time - and unfortunately, the consensus went with chicken and chips. Hmmmm. I feel a detox is in order.

Day 16/ 31 Days of May (tea break), originally uploaded by Millytilly.

I met up with a friend today to break bread @ Cha Cha Moon before finally heading to John Lewis to buy the pattern for my fantasy dress. I was in there for maybe, one hour, looking through catalogues of designs then deciding if I needed the 14inch Nylon zipper or basque zipper (I purchased one of those, and I do hope it's the right one). Then it was time for tea! But cheeky me brought my own bag of Dr Stuarts Detox, but didn't mind coughing up £3.55 for the carrot cake because it was mmm mmm good!

Distance, originally uploaded by Millytilly.

Okay - here's the story behind this. Today, on my way home from work, I could hear a busker singing Stevie Wonder's Lately from a distance and told myself that by the time I got to the top of the escalator, I'd toss her a pound. Well I didn't. Not because I didn't want to, but because we locked eyes - and suddenly the gesture of throwing money at a stranger felt all too intimate...too pre-meditated. Too, "look @ my good deed". And it wasn't like she was homeless or anything...but, there seemed to be this invisible divide between us that I didn't want to cross in the view of the wider public. And perhaps, if it had been night-time, I might have stopped to say hello. Engage in conversation. I don't know. I'm still trying to work out my response.

But anyway, I tried to recreate the moment between a busker and a businessman, establishing a divide created by a slight curve of light. And the lack of intimacy is further established as they fail to look @ one another. And by casting the busker into darkness, it sort of reinforces the day-to-day invisibility he might occasionally contend with amongst the masses.

Day 15/ 31 Days of May (the yout dem), originally uploaded by Millytilly.

I finally checked out Unordinary People @ The Royal Albert Hall this evening. The exhibition is made up of photography which chronicles youth culture from the 60s to the noughties, so after about 30 minutes (personal favourite was Richard Braines Revolution Poetry shot), I left very inspired. Came across these French kids playing outside Kensington Park. I aimed for a candid shot, but they naturally did what they do best (well, specifically, the two in the middle). Bumped up the ISO to give it a bit of an old-school touch. Could easily be the late 80s.

Day 14/ 31 Days of May (Poverty), originally uploaded by Millytilly.

This new ad on the underground caught my attention today as I made my way to work. I usually don't rush home to discover the message behind the medium, but after clicking http://www.timetoconsider.co.uk/ and discovering this was an London Underground campaign, I felt a little bit disappointed. Part of me was hoping that this campaign was intended to challenge stereotypes or help people to offer support to those less well off (I did presume this man was homeless based on the choice of adjectives used) but having clicked through, I don't entirely get what LU are up to. (By the way, for the past fortnight I've been working on a Photo project called 31 Days of May and forgot to post onto the blog. My Bad. But you can check out the other days on my Flickr.)